One Way We Make People Feel Like They Being Treated as Individuals

Dan Baker, a Texas-based Transportation consultant, once said, “To your people, you are [YOUR COMPANY]. When they think of [YOUR COMPANY], all they can think of is you.” This may be a little bit of an overstatement, but there is a lot of truth here!

When they go home to their family, spouse, kids or whomever, how they feel about [YOUR COMPANY] depends large part on how they feel about you and the environment that you have created based on the praise or the lack of praise you have given, the comments or side comments made or even not made, your communicated expectations, and even your body language or mood that you may be unconscious about!

Think about it. When your boss praises you, it’s different than when your peer praises you. It feels good, right? It’s similar to the father-son relationship. When a parent spends time with a child, it means much more to the child than to the parent. Same thing is true to your people. It is more valuable and meaningful to the associate or employee. In their minds, you are [YOUR COMPANY].

Our employees value you (supervisors and leaders) knowing them on an individual basis. You don’t look at them as a means to the end, that they are just a number, just someone who does office work, dock work, shop work, or any kind of work. But they won’t feel this way unless you get to know them.

How do you do that? I am not sure! It will be different for each of you, but let’s look at a few ideas.

You have get to know them by spending time with them. You have get to know them, but you can’t get to know them without spending time with them. “Love is spelled T-I-M-E.” You cannot love people unless you know them, and you cannot know them unless you spent time with them. Jeff Herbert wrote,

The better you know the people on your shift as individuals the more effectively you’ll be able to motivate them. For example, the confident competent man may need only the briefest instructions on a complicated job. A self-doubting but equally competent man wants and needs a detailed explanation as well as a closer checking on your part. A small reprimand may be more than enough to set a highly sensitive worker straight. While a stern-straight-from-the-shoulder put down may be necessary for a thick-skinned obstinate type. A mild complaint from the quiet conscientious employee merits your consideration more or equally than a loud squawk from a chronic belly-acher.

Check out this video called, “Love is spelled T-I-M-E.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfZhReSOP9w]

We must invest time in our people. You’ve heard it said before, “Quality time is better than quantity.” This is true, except how can you have quality time without some quantity of time.

We must take an initiative with our people whether this means purposefully planning time with people, allowing for spontaneous moments and conversations, or simply taking them out to dinner. It will differ from person to person.

Do you know what your natural tendency is? It is quite natural to gravitate to those with similar interests and hobbies, but do you spend time with people that are unlike you?

How else can we get to know them? Be a student of your employees, your peers, and even your manager. Seek to learn all you can about them: their likes, their dislikes, their pet peeves, family, hobbies, outside interests, etc. Ask them lots of questions, even if you think you know the answer (get their opinion, but not to debate, unless you know they like that). Let them talk about what they know…everyone loves to talk about what we know. Once you begin to learn, don’t stop. Let your knowledge of them grow and grow and watch your relationship grow.

There are 5 things that every leader should know about their people:

  1. Their background: Most people like to tell their own story – where they were born, when’s their birthday (write this one your calendar!), how they grew up, what their parents did, etc. Take an interest in their backgrounds – not only is it respectful, but you might learn something useful in terms of managing them.
  2. Their hobbies and interests: What do they like to do when they’re not working? Knowing what gives them joy outside of work helps you relate to them more effectively. You might be able to draw a connection from a work project back to something they care deeply about in their personal lives.  Again, take an interest in their lives outside of work.
  3. Their loved ones & important people in their lives: Find out who that is, and learn their name(s).  And by all means, if your directs have children, learn their names (yes, all of them – you can do it). And remember them and use them.
  4. Their passion(s): What really moves your people?  Some people are really into sports, or politics, or volunteering in their communities.  I just met a woman the other day who runs her own non-profit organization – and I wonder how many of her co-workers really know about it.  You can learn a lot about people if you know what really turns them on.
  5. Their goals, dreams and aspirations: There are countless insights here – including whether you can help them make their dreams come true.  What if you learned that someone always wanted to live abroad – and you had the ability to make that happen with a transfer or job rotation?

So, how do you get to know your people? What are some ways that you could be spending time with your people?

  • Work alongside of them. If you work outdoors, on a dock, in a shop or whatever, as much as you can, don’t do “dock” work alone. Always work with someone.
  • Tackle a project together letting them take the lead. This will be very difficult for an insecure leader
  • Walk around the office, the shop, the dock, or whatever your work area may be and speak to everyone. Say HELLO to everyone and ask them at least one question about their life. As leaders, we walk the operational floor, whether in retail, manufacturing, or logistics for various work-related reasons like productivity, supervision, quality, etc. However, walk the work area just to say, “Hi.” Don’t speak about work. If you must, like a safety violation or some glaring issue or problem that cannot wait, then be sure to come back to that employee later to just speak with them about them about life. However, if it is a minor issue, ignore it and follow up on it later (so as not to condone it).Take groups of employees (no more than 5 at a time) to lunch. But when you do this make sure you communicate ahead of time that you plan to take them all over a set period of time. Be sure to set the time period and make sure you follow through, even at your own expense if necessary!
  • Have social gatherings. But be careful here! What you may believe to be a fun social gathering may not be fun for everyone else. Many office social gatherings center on golf; however, not everyone golfs. A safe social office event is a potluck meal. This way everyone is guaranteed to have something they like.
  • Invite your employees over for dinner. Meet their family or people that are important to them. But be sure to invite everyone otherwise it will appear to show favoritism.
  • Join a social network like MySpace, facebook, hi5, bebo, twitter, etc. There are many out there, and people will gladly tell you where they are. You just need to ask. For example, “Which do you like better, myspace or facebook?” This will usually lead to which one they are on and why. But be sure not just to join but also participate. Throw snowballs, tag people, do polls or mob wars. You will be amazed at what you learn about people and their friends.
  • Do a TAKE 5. This is where you take a person out of the operation for 5 minutes and talk with them like a corrective action, without the corrective action. Be sure to have one or two questions ready. This will do two things for you: (1.) Take away the ominous feeling of being called to the boss’s office (it’s not always a bad thing to be called to his office) and (2.) You get to know your people.

Finally, remember the stuff they tell you. Do whatever it takes for you to remember it. Write it down in their file, in your smartphone or Blackberry. Review it daily, weekly or monthly. If you pray, pray for them consistently. Whatever, but be ready to engage the employee again about that information the next time you see them.

Why Do People Want to Be Treated as Individuals?

While people want and claim to want to be treated the same, they really want to be treated as individuals. Treating everyone the same simply ignores people’s unique experience, skills, talents, wants/desires, etc. Beyond simply a person’s background, treating everyone the same also fails to realize the uniqueness of the day. Each day is different and contains its own difficulties, anxieties, stresses, and situations or circumstances. While we all can relate, we have never been where they are when they are. For example, take two mothers. Both were/are mothers of 3 toddlers under the age of 5. One mother mothered in the 1980′s while another mothers now, 2000′s. While one can relate to the other and understand, the new mother has a whole new set of circumstances, a different worldview/paradigm, personalities, and a different USA to deal with on top of the normal every day dealings of 3 toddlers. So mothering in the 1980′s is different than mothering in the 2000′s. AND, each child is different. The older mother may have had calm children while the new mother may have ADD or ADHD children (or vice versa or a mix).

But how does this relate to HR and leadership? Well, the statement obvious: leading in a company was different 10-20 years ago than it is now. While mothering, leadership principles, and human relations principles often stay the same, they manifest themselves differently. Furthermore, we would not relate to each mother the same. A great leader takes a whole variety of things into account when relating to someone. Failing to recognize this can cause a huge, unintentional backfire. Before we can talk about the how, we must first talk about the why. Why do people want to be treated as individuals?

There are seven basic reasons why people want to be treated as individuals.

  1. It makes us feel important.
  2. Because we want to feel valued.
  3. We want to feel respected as a real contributor.
  4. We are different, motivated differently, and respond differently.
  5. We are unique and one of a kind.
  6. We don’t want to be just a number.
  7. We want to be treated fairly, not just the same.

First, treating people as individuals make us feel important. Mary Kay Ash said in response to a question about her success, “Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from their neck saying, ‘Make me feel important.’ Never forget this message when working with people.” We want, not only to feel important, but also to feel valued. While this really goes hand in hand with feeling important, it needs to be stated. Making a person feel important and valued also has to do with the way we relate to them personally. It also has to do with what we do in response to their ideas and their work. Both have to do with their heart.

Third, we want to feel respected as a real contributor. While not every idea is a good idea, which I should know, some ideas are worth considering. Howard Hendricks, published author, professor at Dallas Theological Seminary since 1951, and founder of the Center for Christian Leadership, said, “For every 30 ideas, there is 1 good idea.” Simply, it takes 30 ideas both good, bad and ugly before coming up with 1 great idea. In my place of work, I come up with a plethora of ideas, many of which are fleeting (it’s kind of an office joke with me and my boss because I have so many ideas. I’ll say, “Hey NAME, I have an idea!” And he’ll always come back with a joke, something like, “You? An idea? No!?” Which with my personality, works great!); however, I always tell my boss my ideas regardless of how stupid I may think they are. I actually work best in a sound boarding situation where every idea is qualified but none are rejected until it’s time. So what my boss does with those ideas is what makes me feel like a contributor or not. What my boss does with my work is what me feel like a contributor or not.

Fourth, we are different, motivated differently, and respond differently. Think about it! We are different. Each one of us was created differently from the next person, even twins have differences. No one of us is like the other. We may have similarities, similar likes and dislikes, but we also have grave differences physically, mentally, intellectually, and emotionally. Each of us is in a different place physically, mentally, intellectually, and emotionally. We have different personal stories and familial stories. Each one of us has different personalities. Though we may be categorized generally (or classified, no pun intended), we have specific nuances, quirks, or “imperfections” that make us different. We all have our own little idiosyncrasies (characteristics, tendencies, or personalities that are peculiar or specific to an individual). As Sean (AKA Robin Williams) said in Good Will Hunting, “People call these things imperfections, but they’re not. Ah, that’s the good stuff.” And it truly is!

Fifth, we are unique and one of a kind. You are unique. I am unique. People are unique! There is no one like them. There is no one like you. You are an individual. Christianity declares this and makes a huge deal of this one basic truth. Each person is unique though we may belong to this group or that team. We all have our own set of skills, characteristics, and traits. Each one of us is different in age, gender, and ethnicity. We also each have our own specific DNA composition and our fingerprint unique to each one of us (though this later part is under intense speculation).

Therefore, sixth, we don’t want to be just a number. It goes against everything in us to be just a number. While having a number associated with us may be imperative for companies, corporations, governments, etc., with people we don’t want to be just a number. When I worked as an Operation Manager at FedEx, I had a co-worker who never knew anyone’s name. When I asked him about this he said to me, “Every day, when we are starting up, I look at the door and all I see is ’1′, ’2′, ’3′…’15′ and then any after that I send to another area/manager or home.” And his productivity numbers showed it! He was constantly being drilled on his low numbers, and his manager was frantically searching for a way to motivate him to be better. What his manager failed to realize was that the reason his productivity was so low was because everyone was simply a number to him. Really, his manager was treating him just like he did everyone else, pulling out all the book-answers and the standard leadership/managerial tactics he learned or saw.

Seventh, we want to be treated fairly, not just the same. I personally don’t want to be treated the same. I need some flexibility. I have a family with 4 kids ages 5 and under with only one car! So if one needs to go to the doctor, and I have the car, I need the flexibility to run home, get my kid, run to the doctor, take him home and then come back to work. Because of this, my boss has allowed me these freedoms entrusting that I would put in at least 40 hours a week. And I do, but I do it differently than my co-worker beside me who is an older, single, retired military guy. What’s fair for me is not fair for him and vice versa.

So, there are basically seven reasons why people want to be treated as individuals (though some of these can be combined).

  1. It makes us feel important.
  2. Because we want to feel valued.
  3. We want to feel respected as a real contributor.
  4. We are different, motivated differently, and respond differently.
  5. We are unique and one of a kind.
  6. We don’t want to be just a number.
  7. We want to be treated fairly, not just the same.

Next, we will talk about the how in a bit more detail.